We saved $1.85 BY LEAVING OUT the 'E'!
Despite the recent 3.5% tuition increase and 5.73 billion dollar endowment, USC has desperately been looking for ways to cut down costs. After the recent dismantlement of the VKC Library, USC administrators discovered that vowels often lead to higher costs on buildings.
This discovery has led to the decision to remove vowels from all buildings and monuments on campus. Some changes include the new “Tmm Trjn” statue and the “Dhny Lbrr”. President Folt explains that these changes allow USC to put on more useless events in the quad and gives the campus a more “modern feel”.
Upperclassmen are supportive of the administration’s decision, claiming “We just want to see the Freshmen get really lost”. If these new plans are successful, USC is hoping to expand this new technique unto the names of its students. Administrators claim that the changes will help us lower the cost of paperwork and reduce the time spent at graduation by 50%.
This is not the first cost cutting endeavor USC has made this year, with expense saving measures up, to 80% being witnessed with the removal of all personnel but athletes from the university’s campus. At press time, emails confirmed more penny hoarding measures were in store.